The CW Source

The Daredevil Divas won, and we're pretty happy about it -- are you? They actually seem to like each other, they're beautiful in unconventional ways (we love how muscular Jenileigh is -- she's no waif), and their talent portion was pretty darn cool.

Besides the Daredevils, though, last night's Crowned finale still had a lot to offer: painfully iridescent gowns, awkward declarations of philanthropy, and an earsplitting "talent" portion from the Sincere Sexy Reds. In short, it was a fitting end to a show that's always made us feel equal parts amused and embarrassed.

In true pageant style, the show culminated in a series of competitions: swimsuit, evening gown, talent, and interview. Swimsuit and evening gown were relatively uneventful, but the competition heated up during the talent portion. The Daredevil Divas rocked the house with their aerial number (though Jenileigh once again did most of the work, even though Moya gamely tried to get more involved this time around). Dream Gals tried their hand at accapella singing, and they fared better than before, but they still didn't totally wow us -- or the judges. Then there were the Sincere Sexy Reds. Breathlessly clueless until the end, the pair's rendition of "Climb Every Mountain" was worse than before -- something we didn't think was possible! The talent competition got fierce, though, when Gifted Dolls performed their dance number. This time Rachelle's hat stayed on and the dolls were in sync.

Continue reading "Crowned: Daredevil Divas Win It All!" »

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Jason C. can't believe the ladies' behavior at their cocktail party! From Gina's tipsy canoodling to Patty's pukefest, the fiesta was anything but boring. Get the video recap!

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Last night's episode of Crowned was both a hit and a miss for us at the CW Source. While we weren't terribly surprised at the outcome, we were a bit upset to see one of our favorite mother/daughter duos leave.

First things first. The girls got their casual clothes on and headed to a dance studio to learn the opening routine for the finale. They were greeted by all of the past desashed contestants and as per usual, our favorite red-headed grinch, Laura, barked instructions at Patty.

Later the women were told that they would have to prepare a special party for some V.I.P. guests who would be judging them on their looks, social graces and the meals they prepared. We're not going to lie; Gina got on our nerves a bit as she tried to take control of all the planning. She's a party planner, we get it; but there are other women there who are fully capable of giving their input when it comes to hosting.

The doorbells rings, and who are our V.I.P.s? The people we've been waiting to meet this entire time! YES! The husbands, boyfriends, bffs and brothers of the contestants! I believe it was in our first podcast where Jackie and I spoke about how much we wanted to see the fools men who married Patty and Laura. They seemed just as timid as we expected. What shocked us was Gina's gross makeout session with her boyfriend in the middle of one of the common areas. Hollis was visibly disturbed, and quite frankly we don't blame her. In fact, it's hard to say if it was the Maui Wowie chicken that made Patty throw up or if she had just caught a glimpse of Gina playing tonsil hockey.

Continue reading "Crowned: Entertaining Guests, Kind of Entertaining Us" »

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We knew things would get dicey when Crowned mixed wannabe beauty queens with demanding physical labor on last week's episode. What we never could have predicted, though, was Angela and Tenia's fantastically dramatic exit when they stormed out, refusing to desash themselves. Totally classless -- and true to form. Jason C. has the recap!

Posted by Jackie at 2:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

How can it be that there are only TWO MORE episodes of our guiltiest of pleasures, Crowned left? It seems like only yesterday that the Sincere Sexy Reds came into our lives. With Angela and Tenia gone, will there be more peace in the house? Does Patty really throw up into a corsage box? Who is Gina making out with in the previews for tonight's episode?! We can't wait to find out.

In case you forgot what happened in the last two episodes, here's another episode of Crowned Sock Puppet Theater:

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Did anyone else find themselves singing "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" after last night's EXCELLENT desashing ceremony on Crowned? Peace out, Angela and Tenia; your smart-ass remarks about other contestants not having money and your expensive hair extensions will not be missed. Oh, and P.S. -- that hideous lime green dress made our eyes bleed.

Continue reading "Crowned Recap: Habitat for Humility" »

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Last week's smile clinic on Crowned left almost no one smiling. First, Angela and Tenia led the group in a round of insult-shouting that had several competitors in tears. Then, tempers flared when the mothers and daughters had to prepare a video about why they should win. Check out Jason C.'s ripcap, and don't miss a new Crowned tonight at 9/8c -- they're volunteering. Oh, this is going to be good...

Posted by Jackie at 4:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

We don't know about you, but we were outraged by last night's Crowned episode. Usually the tension and bitchiness alone make the show worth watching, but the hateful words spewing out of Angela's mouth during the smile competition did nothing but make us uncomfortable and angry. It's amazing that no one has put her in her place (the way we would like to) thus far. Really, there are so many things to rip on her about (the way she talks behind people's backs yet is infuriated and confrontational when someone else returns the favor, her manly appearance, how unflattering her clothes are, the list goes on...), but it seems as though everyone in the house is afraid of her for some reason.

Continue reading "Crowned Recap: Angela Digs Her Fake Nails into Opponents" »

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Last week on Crowned, the Sincere Sexy Reds talked ugly and the Goal Getters attempted (but didn't succeed at) hula hooping. Get ready for tonight's new episode with Jason C.'s latest ripcap!

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Finally! We've been waiting for a Sock Puppet Theater recap for two whole weeks, but here they are, episodes 3 & 4 in all their glory right before this week's episode of Crowned:

On tonight's episode, if any gloves were on at any point, they're coming off! The girls attend a "smile clinic" to learn the six different smiles (really?) one must use during a pageant. We only thought there was one and then lots of tears and waving. As the mothers and daughters hold a pose for one minute, the other contestants try to break them of their smiles. Something tells us Angela and Tenia will be the first ones to throw out some nastiness since that's just about the only thing they're good at.

We're very curious to see how well Sincere Sexy Red Patty does at tonight's smile clinic. Pulling off two different ways to change her facial expression has seemed strenuous enough for her, but smiling in SIX different ways almost guarantees lots of laughter on our side.

What do you think? Who will be heading home tonight, and who's going to stir up trouble?

Posted by Mia at 12:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

We must say, we are in shock over last night's Crowned episode. The dismissal of the Goal Getters proves that this competition isn't only about beauty but apparently teamwork and *cough* talent.

Continue reading "Crowned Recap: Sincere and Sexy -- Questionable. Talented -- We Beg to Differ" »

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Last night's episode of Crowned officially divided the mansion into good versus deliciously evil. In a surprise turn of events, frozen face Patty and her sinister daughter Laura weren't the ones leading the brat pack; Angela and Tenia have taken over as the queen bitches. While the nicer ones are crying over the dismissal of The Realists (who will always be Silent but Deadly in our hearts), the bad girls were having a dance party.

Continue reading "Crowned Recap: Angela Leads the Crotch Parade" »

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Christmas is over, and we're (slowly) getting back into the swing of things here at The CW Source. While we recover from the indulgences of the holidays, we'll be watching Crowned -- cringeworthy fitness routines and self-esteem destruction by way of a swimsuit competition elevated last week's episode to a new level of insanity. Get caught up on the theatrics with Jason C.'s Crowned ripcap!

Posted by Jackie at 2:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

We are PUMPED for tonight's episode of Crowned. It looks like Skin Deep is trying to get physical with sweet ol' Gina from the Dreamgals. Tears will be shed, insults will be slung and apparently a momma crotch will see the light of day for all others to see. We'll be sitting by the set with a big bag of popcorn and a Pabst Blue Ribbon for this one (only the best!).

We are psyched that Crowned Sock Puppet Theater has struck again! Here's their recap of last week's episode.

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Last night's Crowned episode separated the good from the bad but left us wanting more drama. Where's the drama? Where are the catfights? The most exciting part of the entire show was the new theme song.

Once the intro was over, we were taken to the mansion where Angela from team "Skin Deep" went off about how they made it past the first round because they worked so hard. We don't know who she was trying to convince of her hard work, but they've only made it past one judging and all they had to do was beat out a mother/daughter team who couldn't keep their yaps shut long enough for Carson to critique their poor outfit choice.

Continue reading "Crowned Recap: Momma Needs a New Suit" »

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Okay, so Crowned is kind of ridiculous -- definitely too ridiculous for a standard recap. But for a RIPcap? Well, in that case, bring it on! Jason C. spares no one when he tallies up the house brains, bitches, and bombshells. From Laura's "singing" to the breathtakingly short reign of the Reigning A's, it's all here. Get comfortable and watch the RIPcap!

Posted by Jackie at 3:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

The writers' strike is painful, but Crowned seems to be taking at least a little bit of the edge off of our sadness. For those of you who missed last week's premiere, we've stumbled upon some sock puppets who can get you up to speed:

We'd say that's just about right (for our take on the premiere, read our full recap)!

Continue reading "Crowned: Sock Puppet Recap" »

Posted by Mia at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Last night's premiere of Crowned was even better than we could have imagined! For those of you who missed it, here is a little recap:

*Eleven mother/daughter teams rode up to the mansion in a bus and once inside tried to size up the competition.

*Their accomodations are palatial... except for the bunk beds. Tiaras adorn the wall, pink is the color of choice, and there's a large dessert spread on the dining room table filled with pastries.

*There are a few teams who have pageant experience, but most haven't competed in anything like this before.

*Team underdog (aka "The Tomboy Queens") seemed very nervous and headed straight for the food while other teams seem to head straight for the champagne. They aren't as polished as the other teams, but they seem sweet enough to make it for at least a few rounds with the judges.

Continue reading "Crowned: Let the Pageant Begin!" »

Posted by Mia at 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In a mere two weeks, the premiere of what is destined to be one of our favorite loved and hated television series will hit the airwaves. That's right, Crowned is coming December 12. Dubbed "The Mother of All Beauty Pageants," Crowned is a battle of the brains (sure), beauty and talents (questionable) between 11 mother/daughter teams. We're happy to watch the behind-the-scenes catfights and bitch wars of regular pageant girls, but pairing them with their mothers is no less than GENIUS at work.

Feast your eyes on the video teasers. Oh. My. Gawd. We can hardly sit still in our seats; we want this to begin pronto.

Some predictions:

How much work has Patty had done? Laura just looks evil, and the preview of her screeching proves it.

Continue reading "Crowned: Predictions for the New Season" »

Posted by Mia at 11:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)