I am a Facebook Outlaw
You are reading the words of a broken man. Branded. Marked with a coward’s shame. A digital outcast, sent into exile far from the warming fires of the community of man.
What I’m trying to say is... Facebook won’t let me have any more friends.
I wrote a post a few weeks ago about my introduction to Facebook, the wildly popular social networking site. While I never pictured myself being the web networking type, being something of a hermit when it comes to ACTUAL human interaction, I took to it quickly, reconnecting with old friends and co-workers, and making some new friends of friends. I was enjoying it.
Then a few days ago, an ominous warning began appearing from the Facebook Police each time I would “friend” a new person. It basically said my friending habits were getting out of control, and harsher sanctions would be issued if I didn’t at once cease and desist. (It didn’t really say that, I’m embellishing to make this sound more dramatic.) I assumed it was a technical error, and I continued on my merry, friending way.
And, then.. I clicked today to add a friend, and here’s what came up on my screen:
I feel so dirty. I failed to comply! My account may be permanently disabled! And I don’t even know what I’ve done! It’s like something out of Kafka!
What’s making it worse is that every Facebook person I’m telling about this, instead of saying something like, “oh, yeah, that happens to everybody, don’t worry, you just need to do this.. blah.. blah.. blah..,” they’re all saying, “whoa, Dude, I’ve NEVER heard about that happening to ANYBODY before!”
I’ve written the Facebook authorities (at an email address of, no kidding: warning@facebook.com; the intimidation just never stops). I got an email back promising a reply, but they smell fear now, and I don’t expect them to go easy on me.
Is it a crime, America, or at least the extremely small sliver of America that reads this blog, to want more friends? If you cut me, do I not bleed? I am not an animal! Sanctuary, sanctuary!!
If these are my final hours on Facebook, if indeed my account will soon be permanently disabled, I just want to thank my 500 or so friends. Alas, I hardly knew ye… (truthfully, the vast majority of ye I didn’t know at all, which might actually be the problem). Perhaps they’ll let me back in from the cold one day… Until that day, wherever a guy is blocked from adding friends due to continued misuse….. I’ll be there.
Comments: 20
Don't worry Jim, I'll be your pal on this blog!
You need to Twitter.. You can twitter with me.. Start networking with twitter...
Well, son of a monkey. I finally get myself on Facebook (at the urging of friend. A real friend, not just a Facebook friend.) and I was going to "friend" you. Now I can't. Alas. Now I'll just have to keep reading this crap, I mean, your blog, to find out what's happenin' with you. I wonder if it's possible to "relative" people? 'Cause I'd relative you, my friend. I'd relative you.
Aww Jim, that's harsh of Facebook. But it wouldn't be the first time they get all cranky for things of this nature. They disabled a friend's account because of that too, meh. I guess they just assume that you were a spammer or bot or something trying to up your count.
Now if you were on myspace, you could probably have 30238402394123129 friends and they wouldn't even care. Haha. And maybe you should twitter............. eyewitness news does it :whistles: oh noes I'm not defection to the enemy, I swear!!
eww... defecting, not defection. I need an EDIT button sometimes.
"If you cut me, do I not bleed?"
LOL, that left me in hysterics. =)
Perhaps a "Page" or "Group" would work better for you. Your current listing could be your real friends and your fans could join your new listing.
P.S. (and off-topic!)
Where's Kaity been? When's she going to get her own blog? We want more Kaity! =)
Jim,
Couldn't find a more appropriate place to write this to you, so sorry for being off topic.
What the heck was that Peter Thorne "report" tonight about putting a PIX producer out in the cold without a coat? When did the "news" become "Candid Camera?"
I know that the line between news and entertainment has continued to blur on a regular basis, but you HAVE to tell me just how that load of crap-ola qualifies to be on a news program.
The only thing more disappointing about that bogus segment was my wife and my disappointment that you didn't return from it with one of your trademark tongue-in-cheek comments letting us in the audience know that you "get it."
I was writing about the same topic as Jim (above). Since when is reality/punk't TV antics newsworthy (even for local "news")?
If nothing important was happening in the world right now, I think I could forgive whoever came up with that segment (perhaps it was that producer that was out in the cold)(perhaps she should be left out there).
I think we deserve better of our news.
Jim,
It's sad to see that not even a man of your status would be denied to have more friends on facebook..I think your co-worker "Help me Howard" can be of assistance.
Regards
Jim this is frustrating to me because there is a limit on the number of friends Facebook will let you have per account/page, but that number is 5,000 NOT 500. I only heard of this happening in one other instance last year when someone added a large number of friends over a three day period. He was suspended, he opened a new page, and then a week later, Facebook enabled the original account after the appeal was read and reviewed.
I think it has to do with your account type. Bob Dylan has about 3,000 MEMBERS, and then there are pages with FANS. So maybe you just need to set up a GROUP as opposed to a personal account.
Funny comment above; getting Howard to help you!
So, what about Twitter? It's kind of addicting too. In particular, this site is fascinating, and scary:
http://twitter.com/themediaisdying
You know it really angers me Jim when great people such as you have to be deleted or punished on a website for just being yourself. I mean they wanna delete you because you have alot of friends byt they won't delete a woman who has a group of breast feeding pics on facebook?? what's up with that?...I support you Jim!
Funny blog, Jim. I love the drama. Do not let Facebook win! Fight to the death. Two men enter, one man leaves (or in this case, Facebook) This is a date which will live in Infamy!
What exactly is a twitter and facebook faceoff?
What exactly is a twitter and facebook faceoff?
I think you need a Celeb page for that much activity. Think about it, only SPAM accounts would make 500 or so friends within a week.
Perks of a Celeb page: they will probably pay you to say something about Facebook on the air...the rich get richer, right Jim?
JIM!! THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME TOO!! Like the first week you get facebook, you start friending everyone you know; but facebook just thinks your friending random people you don't know just to have the most friends. Just don't friend people for a little while. Then the block will stop. The block came off after like a day or two for me.
If they do delete your account, you can easily make a new one!.... you just need to use a different email address.
Just to add, I wouldn't suggest to make a fan/celeb page because you cannot talk personally to your friends. But you should have both!
Hope i helped!
I think that's weird. But, why would
they do something like that. The best bet would
be to have a myspace account instead; there's
no limit of friends.
:]
I think that's weird. But, why would
they do something like that. The best bet would
be to have a myspace account instead; there's
no limit of friends.
:]